First, the baseballs.
I try not to collect baseballs. I am just too touchy about the condition of my autographs, and with baseballs there are so many things that can go wrong. Let me make you a list of some of my headaches with balls:
1. Official Major League balls are not cheap, normally in the 15-17 dollar range. Buying at the ballpark? $22.
2. Want to skip a step and get any other type of ball signed? Don’t expect the autograph to last more than a few years before bleeding into nothing.
3. You better get it signed in the cheapest, bluest ballpoint pen you can find. If you get it in black then you are running the chance of it fading quicker, or changing color (greenish). In sharpie? Just kill yourself.
4. You just bought that OMLB? Good! Have you nice blue pen? Excellent! Now get out the ball…wait…be careful how you hold it…it’s brand new and bright white! Watch you thumb! Oh..ah! Shit. You just dropped it and/or rubbed it the wrong way. Now your nice fancy ball has a big smudge. Way to go. Go buy a new one.
5. You can prep a pen all day long. Scribble on your arm as the player is walking over. Keep the lid on. But sometimes the ink just runs funny, and not you have yourself a scratchy, blotty autograph. I would give it away to some kid and try again.
6. All this work and the player never even touches you pen, and instead signs everything with the same crappy sharpie. There is personal story here I will get to at some point. Chuck the ball!
7. Oh boy! Here he comes! He took my ball! And pen! How cool! Wait…no! Ah! BAM! You just got yourself a side paneled autograph. Unless you say something–and even that is not a guarantee–players sometimes avoid signing the sweet spot. Tiny side panel autographs are no fun.
8. After you get the autograph be careful…that ink can (and will) still smear. Especially if you put it back in its case too quick the wrong way.
9. Storage is a bitch. You have to keep them out of light and high humidity. In other words: take a picture, because you are not displaying these bad boys.
Asdrubal Cabrera – First autograph of this vacation. I actually got this from my father in law, who knows someone who is married to a PR guy for the Indians. It took me about three weeks to decide who I wanted, and it came down to A-Cab, Hannahan or Brantley. I choose Cabrera since he was the perfect mix of tough autograph and good player. Hannahan is easy enough IP, and while Brantley is dang near impossible, he is really not all that good. I know it is not signed in Blue, but I still love it and might be my favorite autograph from the vacation. I did see Asdrubal sign one time up close, and he does not sweet spot…so this is extra nice.
Francisco Lindor – He declined to sign a sweet spot card or scorecard at the first game that I went to in Lake County. The second game I brought this ball, and while I heard that he does not like to sweet spot he had no problem doing it, I assume because I asked him to personalize. Came out very nice.
Andrew McCutchen – This guy is one of the best players in the National League. I was outside the hotel for 6 hours when a guy came out saying a bunch of player had left through a side entrance, and all of us assumed that McCutchen was one of them. I was super relieved when he came out, and the man signed like a champ: everyone got an autographs, most 3 per. I was thrilled! He was wearing headphones, so I could not have him personalize it, but I am still very happy. For a guy as good as he is, you would not think he would sign autographs like he does.
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Jason Kipnis – When this vacation started and you asked me who the two players I wanted the most were, it would have been Kipnis and Lindor. Both were super easy to get. Jason Kipnis–soon to be All-Star Jason Kipnis–is a great signer. There was not a day that I can remember that he did not come over and sign, and was super personable while he was doing it. It did not start well though: one the first day I handed him a ball and he personalized it, and about half way through his name I heard him go “Uh oh…” and, sure enough, my pen died. It came back, but at that point the autograph was ruined. It was a brand new pen, but I was really bummed.
I gave the ball to some kid. Depsite it being “to Justin” he still seemed to really like it.
This was all pre-game. I stayed for about three innings, and then went out to get a bite to eat at a bar across the street (place called “GoodFellers”). My plan was to eat, and then buy a drink at every bar around the stadium until someone had me sign a check with a cheap blue bic ballpoint. Sure as heck, the waitress at Goodfellers had a perfect pen, and she was nice enough to swap out with me. After the game I got the personalized one (“Sorry to bug you again…this time I have a pen that works!” He laughed.)
The second ball I got simply because I was there, he was there, and there was a kid who needed a pen. I dived in, and Kipnis took my pen, used it on the kid, and then signed my ball. I do feel bad though: while exiting the crowd I knocked the ball out of some dealers hand, and it rolled thought into the fenced off players lot. I do not feel bad.
Brook Jacoby – Last year while I was in Cleveland a friend of mine got Brook Jacoby on a ball while he was walking into the stadium. I was talking with someone and missed him. My friend was so excited, and considered the day a success on that alone. I know who Jacoby is, but had no idea he was a Reds coach. His excitement was infectious, so I went out and bought a ball to get signed too. This was the first of a three game Reds series, so I was sure I would snag him. But, sure enough, it rained the next two days and I missed him since he taxied in. He does not have much quality stuff on Ebay, so I really felt like I missed out on him.
This year I was prepared, and got him on the first day in my scorecard. On the third day, I got him on the above ball. He was very nice.
Jack Hannahan – Hannahan was doing a rehab in Lake County, and I got him. Glad I did: he was not as easy to get as I thought he would be at the stadium. I only saw him sign once. He is a good signer, and also very friendly. A really great guy who I was out there with knew him, since the dudes wife helped deliver Hannahan’s baby. He also said that Jack is a great guy.
Brandon Phillips – Maybe you won’t be able to get Joey Votto every day, but Phillips is money. He signed every day pre-game for a ton of people, and I snagged this one. It almost was a disaster: while he was signed I saw the pen die…and I just put my head back and though”Not again!”. Phillips though, instead of grinding it out and ruining the ball, rubbed his pen on his finger tip. This recovered the flow, he rewrote over “the” and signed a perfect 10 autograph. If he did not personalize this would have been a disaster (since the pen would have dies while he was signing his name). While I am OCD about this stuff, I really like this autograph.
Michael Brantley – So I had a new OMLB. Shin Soo Choo came out after a game and was signing. I figured what the heck, and dived into the crowd to get him to sign it…and he did…as a side panel. I was bummed. It was a tiny signature too. I had no idea what I was going to do with the ball. Not five minutes later, Michael Brantley comes out.
Brantley is a terrible signer. And not a particularly friendly guy, either. There were these two kids around the other side of the players lot, and they were calling him over…and shockingly, he started walking that way. I zipped over, and it was just the three of us. As Brantley was walking over–and please remember, I am dork who does not IP too much–I said to him “Thanks for coming over, Mr. Brantley…I am really big fan and I am really excited to get your autograph!”. He rolled his eyes. Really.
He signed for about 5 minutes, and was done.
I would have rather him signed a scorecard, but it all happened so fast I did not have a chance to grab it. But I got to put the side paneled Choo ball to use. But still…rolling his eyes…that stung a little.
Scott Rolen – Got his on my last day in Cleveland. Over the last two years I have had Rolen standing in front of me four times–were talking half an arms length–and he never signed. He only signed for kids, and made a point to skip adults. This ball was suppose to be for Votto, but he never signed inside even once. I was getting ready to leave the first base line when I saw that Rolen was walking over. I decided just to wait it out, and maybe get Phillips again or something. Slowly Rolen moved down the line. There was not a huge crowd, and again he seemed to be only signing for kids. As he got closer I moved towards left down the first base line so that I was standing next to these two little kids. Rolen quickly got to them, and I was sure he was going to finish off with those two. Two my left there were probably 30 more people with stuff out. As he finished the last kid he looked up, grabbed my stuff–I asked him to personalize–and he ran off. I was the last guy he did.
He seemed to be signing mostly for kids again, so I am not sure why he got me. Maybe he thought I was with those kids? Either way, very cool. During the game I spent 45 minutes reading about him at the bar while eating a particularly good avocado, spinach and chicken salad. It was a good day.
Jay Bruce – Got this one the second day of the Reds series. I was 100% sure Votto was going to sign. He had not signed on day one, was streching right in front of us, and I was flanked by adorable little Reds fans holding out balls and caps, and all the old collectors and parents were very friendly. It was not even a big crowd. It was a great position. So of course, he blew us all off. Not a minute after he left the field Jay Bruce strolled on over, and I got this perfect autograph on the sweet spot.
Pedro Alvarez – At the hotel on the second day of the Pirates series. I brought two balls. It was getting late. At this point a bunch of good players had not come out yet–Neil Walked, McCutchen, Alvarez, Burnett, Tabata. We had been told about 45 minutes earlier that a bunch of guys left through a side door, and we assumed that at least a few were these guys…and I was pretty bummed. Then pops out Alvarez. I was the first person he was going to sign for…I handed him my scorecard…and he said he can’t sign that.
Well shit.
At that point I had been outside the hotel for almost 8 hours, the whole time on my feet. It was low 90’s, no shade, and all I had to eat or drink all day was a Starbucks coffee. Worse, I had gotten pretty much crap for autographs, and it was possible all the best players were long gone and never coming out. The only good player that had signed, James McDonald, I did not get. I was feeling sick, worn out and sore as shit. And now Alvarez, a #2 overall pick but a major league .200 hitter–is telling me he cant sign a baseball scorecard. I had about 10 seconds to make a command decision–I was not leaving without a autograph from at least one position player–and decided to burn a ball. He signed it. I was lucky, since I was the last guy he signed for.
I like to think I was his lucky charm: he would go on to hit two HR that day, and two more the next day.
10 minutes later a good number of other Pirates came out–including Neil Walked and McCutchen–so it was a good day.
And Finally…
Joey Votto – There is a great story how I got this ball…and I am not ready to write about it yet. I feel terrible about it.
Cleveland Sweet Spotting 